REAL

quick question
startlin’
come up with
an alibi

i don't know
how much more
i should go
with this story

realized my
heart is dry
left outside
of my body

eat my words
never learn
spill my guts
pinkerton

i don’t know how I am supposed to be real

this will set
off a bomb
where to next
the autobahn

honesty
such a tease
signed a lease
on my sleeve

IT'S GONNA GET BETTER

i’ve been trying for so long to get enough
i don’t think there is a top to this mountain that I’m trying to climb up
without a harness on 

it's gonna get better
hold your head up high
you want to sequester
open up the blinds

i’ve been looking for the good in everyone
and focusing more on loving the people who some say may not deserve
even if it hurts

ALL I NEED

i’m still cycling on the same trip and seeing everything change as I pass
i’ve been watching all my friends get hitched and running out of places I can crash
  
how will the future unfold?
what part do you fear the most?

my friends waving bye to me, from their Honda Odysseys, “adios amigo” 
it’s not looking like I’ll fit all of the requirements of the status quo (don't leave me alone)

all I need are my compadres for my sanity
i don't need domesticating just community

hop on the SS American, 
where every stop is one more anchor down
get a dog and start having children
you might as well teach a Sunday school class

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

i got a feelin’ that i just can’t keep
oh i really need to set it free
i love you so much

i need a moment to gather my thoughts
how do i say it i am at a loss for words
i love you so much

but I don’t want you to see the real me
constantly sad with insecurity that looms

i don’t want to bring that into your life
on top of that i wouldn't treat you like you should

you deserve only the best the world can offer
and i’d feel like an imposter conning you

hey i’d say we make a pretty good team
i think that we could be more than friendly
i love you so much

i got a crazy idea here it goes
would you like to do life as a duo?
i love you so much

but when i start picturing you with me
i realize that we’re not meant to be
it’s true

cuz when i see you around others guys
i know that you could you have a better life
i do

you deserve only the best the world can offer
and i'd feel like an imposter conning you                                                                                                                             i am scared that i would slowly grow to loathe you
and vice verse so i must bid you adieu  

YOU'RE AT THE BEACH

it’s time to wake up from your lucid dream
your feet stuck in concrete 

you need to get away from the tepid climate
default auto-pilot

what are you doing when you’re happy and at peace?
find the zone where you really know you’re at the beach

don't wanna hear you speak
about how you’ve sold out
go pick up the towel 

time is a leaf
slowly crumbling to dirt
eventually burying us

NIGHT TERRORS

it’s hard to trust someone
when i can’t even trust myself
i make the same mistakes
expect a different reaction

heart is racing in the dead of night
and it feel like I'm about to die
in this moment it’s a fight or flight
i can hardly breathe in any air
and the seconds feel like forever
little do i know it’s just a blur

all these night terror dreams are keeping me up at night
every vice I bury always comes right back to life

i feel locked in the cycle
like i am stuck on tumble dry
i have seen the truth unfold
i still choose to drink the poisoned wine

there are spiders swarming in my bed
and a man with a sniper in hand
funny that it doesn’t seem pretend                                                                                                                      something bloody fell from the ceiling
i roll off my bed and start screamin
why do i keep falling for these tricks

is this a dream or real life?
i’m up against a poltergeist
how do i live on knowing i’m my worst nightmare come alive?

SUN

i get so sad sometimes i don’t know how i ever find my feet
it’s hard to stand at all when you are swallowed up in the blue sea

everything surrounding seeps in and becomes part of me
i am a weathervane – i feel the climate pulsing in my teeth

sun, when do you plan on coming out?
someday it’s gonna all work out

i need to feel the golden rays soak in my skin and warm my bones
the leaves are whispering – the chilly breeze invigorates my soul

sun, when do you plan on coming out?
someday it’s gonna all work out
wonder when i’ll see through these clouds?
one day i will no longer doubt

INBETWEEN

i cant shake feeling that I don’t belong to anywhere or anything

i feel so out of place
like I have nowhere to go or to sleep
i know that I can’t stay
i need to find my motif

i am somewhere lost in the inbetween
stuck in transit, caught in the inner seam

on the move – never want too much time to think
cause i can pull problems from my sleeve

i want to stay occupied
it helps me escape the currently
i’m a stranger to this life
i feel at home in a dream

i am somewhere lost in the inbetween
stuck in transit, caught in the inner seam
misplaced bookmark, ship stuck without a breeze
i am somewhere lost

SLAVE TO THE SOUND

searching for some life in a piece of glass
the truth gets refracted through a shattered mask

trying to quench thirst from a broken tap
driving my own hearse with an iphone app

i am a slave to the sound:
my pulse speeds up and a buzz is felt throughout my body when I hear the jingle of the chains of technology 

i am so stressed out from the endless feed
either i'm looking down or i'm not up to speed

right before i sleep after i wake up
i’m a digital junkie – i need to unplug

draining my spirit
minute by minute
keepin my hands bound

PEOPLE IN MY HEAD

my aunt pulls me aside, askin about my life
i told her that i’m fine working at the restaurant
“when are you gonna get a real 'big boy' job?
i’m talking benefits, steady 9 to 5”

it’s like i’ve said: i got people in my head and they’re always tryna live my life
and all of this judgement is so toxic but i’m not gonna let it bring me down

my mom and dad were counting on an accountant
“one day he'll settle down and have us grandchildren”
i still got my friends, they say they like my tunes
except for the lyrics, and the music too

“you need to find a sound, 
maybe try something new,  
you need to slow it down,
make it really obscure –
the songs are way too long”

I'll never be your drone

ETERNITY

a small part of me wants to fold
i’m prone to wreck potential
i order my drink tall just to pour it down the drain

i spend so much life wasting time
the tubes are warm but stuck on standby
my worst enemy seems to be my inner peace

i wanna wake up like it’s already done with confidence and motivation
i want a light to shine from everyone I see and taste eternity

your heavy mind is so burnt out
you're fanning the fire, chopping wood down
drop all your concerns – i’ll help relight that flame

i’m gonna give it all til i’m gone
i'm gonna keep on crawling when i fall
life is too terse to flirt with the mundane

IN THE MORNING

in the morning i’ve got a broken compass
i'm a zombie feeding on all things lifeless
in the morning, im like a walkin coffin
all the things i hold on to end up dyin 

in the morning I am dirty and bruised in the gutter, nothing left to prove
rain is washing away residue
i’m immersed in an ocean anew

in the morning, i think i lost my knowledge
played the game right, forgot to save my progress
in the morning, i try to live with purpose
even when things often times feel so pointless

i grow away from the roots in time
i'm known to follow the road that winds
although i’m like a plane with no pilot
there is sure to be light shinin
though the darkness over the horizon in the morning